ramblings of a bored 14 year old

i am bored. incredibly. there really is nothing much that i need to do at home. and volunteering to help, does not fit my p.o.a.

i am bored. been an hour and a half since the damned power failed. i hate power failures. i hate darkness. it somehow stifles me. like the darned heat in kolkata.

i am bored. i am dying to switch the x-box on. its only been a week since i managed to force mom to buy it for me. i am not bored of it yet. i wouldn't mind my i-pod now either. i can't seem to find it though, i must have lost it. thank heaven's... maybe its time for a nano.

i am bored. i have spent the past five minutes, counting each line of sweat that trickles down my forehead. sad, they weren't too many in number. that could have kept me busy. for a while.
i am bored. i am only 14, i hate adults. what difference does it make? my 18 year old sister has gone sashaying off to the mall, spoilt brat couldn't take the heat within these four walls. i wasn't allowed to. i hate adults.

i sometimes, contemplate murder, when i am bored. i perhaps am not a violent person, i perhaps would not kill a human grotesquely, but i contemplate. i respect those who kill. they have power. over people, who beg, in front of them for their lives. i sometimes, wonder, do they replay it in their minds, when they are bored? for the rush of adrenalin? when they fuck?
i hate my sister. the giggles. her friends. the mangy kitten that pooped on my bed. her delinquently multi-coloured fish.

i am possibly haapy she is not home now. i am possibly happy, the rest of the household is on the terrace, orgasming over the non existent brilliant breeze. i am happy the candle is flickering, slow and steady. i am happy for the stainless steel ladle.
i like holding the fish. i often to it. see them squirm out of water is funny. their fins flapping hysterically, their dead eyes appearing deader by the second.

i really cannot get myself to like gave, he has to be the most ridiculously colourful fish in the aquarium. how my sister named all 14 is a surprise. not a very pleasant one though. he's small enough t o fit in my palm and the water filled ladle. he is stupid enough to try to move in it.

i burnt my hand last week. i did not realize that the stupid twat had left the geyser open. i cannot understand the importance of warm water in summer. i guess gave realizes my discomfort. the water can't b that warm though... candles test my patience.

i like seeing the little bubbles appear in the water. it took a long time, but i like the smoke emit, ,almost translucent. i like seeing gave squirm the way he does, trying to escape. his gymnastics to flee the gradually rising temperature seems funny.

the futile attempts he makes desperately to prevent himself from getting scalded against the now hot stainless steel now seems funnier. i smell singed fish. rather unpleasant.

gave seems no very grateful to receive the sudden splash of cold water on his fins. guess, he wants more. the light dims. slow and steady. hissing noises emit from the ladle.

this is better than cutting fish. there is no blood to deak with. no goop to clean. the ladle has stopped vibrating from gave's movements, for a while now, i think. its hard to keep the track of time in the ridiculous darkness.

the slow put-put-put of the generator next door dies down. i hate the suddenness with which the lights flash back on. momentarily blinding me, making me drop the ladle. i hate being distracted.

thankfully, the sticky gooey mess, that now symbolizes gave has not spilled out of the ladel. its amusing to see the once colourful gave, a sticky smoking mess.

i hate household work. i hate the rough green soap that apparently makes utensils shine. i hate having to try too hard to scrub off the black grime off the base of the ladle.

i hate having to pretend nothing happened. i hate missing out on the chance of gloating as my sister realizes the mysterious disappearance of the precious gave. maybe she will cry. maybe, just shriek shrilly and get on my nerves. maybe go out buy a new one. maybe, she won't even miss him.

thank god, the lights are back. i think i will plug in my x-box now.